Starting off

Well I've decided to try one of these things out, I have too much time by myself right now and lots to say.. but no one to listen.

I'm watching a music video by The Kovenant for the 579329846543th time, its one of those songs you hear for the first time and think "meh, I guess this song is ok"..then after a few listens you are obsessed. I particularly like how the bassist and guitarist rock out to the beat of the chorus. I totally fucking want an electric guitar!!!! I actually had one when I was about 14 but god that video they gave me to teach you the basics, I got through maybe 5 minutes of it before I couldn't stand it any longer. I was just not patient enough to learn back then and ended up selling it. I'm one of those people who can't stand sucking at something and won't do it. However that's kind of hypocritical considering I also can't give up on something, I'll keep doing it until I finally get it or am so frustrated I want to break it/something lol. So maybe I will succeed at learning guitar this time. Now if only I wasn't so broke ass and could afford one!!

So I realized today that yesterday was officially 1 year since my ex dumped me. It's kinda funny because I was doing the same thing that day that I did yesterday, selling Doc Bailey's at the Royal..it was a saturday too, weird huh. I cried that entire night.. I didn't want to turn the computer off because it felt like I'd lose that last bit of him (oh yeah, did I mention he dumped me over MSN?)he was decent enough to stay up with me the whole time at least. Somehow when I woke up I pulled myself together and went to work at the Royal. Of course everyone knew why I was late. I remember talking to Chris about it, I told him how all the these things reminded me of him.. Chris kinda laughed and said he didn't have the problem at all...

...But I have that problem hardcore. I can't forget anyone I care(d) about, even if I wanted to. All these small things will remind me of that person. And I swear I remember EVERYTHING, things people have completely forgotten about. My memories are both wonderful and a curse. They make me smile one minute then cry the next. I have actually been going through a very tough time mentally and emotionally these last few weeks. I have lost 2 people who were important to me, and a 3rd in a different sense... this is getting long so I will talk about them in my next entry.. don't know why but I guess it's a way to preserve those memories.